Healing Isn't Linear

There are days I feel unstoppable—like I’ve finally got this recovery thing under control. I wake up, take on the day with confidence, and feel proud of how far I’ve come. And then there are days I feel like I’m right back at square one. A single memory, a moment of doubt, or an unexpected trigger can make me question everything. But I’ve learned something crucial along the way: these ups and downs aren’t failures—they’re part of the process. Healing isn’t linear.

For so long, I believed that growth had to look like a straight, upward path. I thought progress meant every day was better than the last, that setbacks meant I was failing. In reality, life—and healing—doesn’t work that way. Recovery, sobriety, personal growth, and emotional healing are more like a winding road than a staircase. Some days we sprint forward; some days we stumble or pause. And that’s okay.

My anxiety complicates this journey, because it causes me to overthink everything—even the smallest things that generally don’t deserve the time in my thoughts. I catch myself spiraling over decisions or moments that, in reality, are minor. But I have to remind myself: I’m not perfect. My healing is still happening, even in the times it doesn’t seem fast enough for me.

Setbacks are not a reflection of weakness—they’re opportunities. They’re reminders that we are human, and that true healing is about resilience, not perfection. I remember a time in my sobriety when I felt completely defeated after a rough week. I was frustrated and doubted whether I could really do this. But looking back, that week became one of the most important lessons in my journey. It taught me patience, self-compassion, and the power of showing up for myself even when I didn’t feel “perfect.” I didn't need to put on a mask to make myself appear stronger than I felt in the moment.

Celebrating small wins became my lifeline. The first time I went an entire day without feeling anxious about my past. The little moments of learning to pause before reacting, learning (slowly) not to be defensive, and leaning in to the peace in my recovery rather than waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even small, imperfect steps like journaling my thoughts or checking in with myself felt like victories. Those steps add up—they are proof that healing is happening, even when it feels slow.

The key is mindset. When you start to feel discouraged, remember that every twist, turn, and pause is part of your journey. Healing isn’t about constant progress; it’s about commitment, patience, and self-love. Instead of labeling setbacks as failures, see them as

lessons. Instead of comparing your path to someone else’s, honor your own unique journey.

So if today feels like two steps back, remember: that doesn’t erase the steps you’ve already taken forward. Keep showing up for yourself. Keep practicing self-compassion. Keep celebrating the victories, big and small. Healing isn’t linear—and that’s exactly what makes it real, meaningful, and ultimately beautiful!