Setting Boundaries: Protecting Your Peace

I used to think setting boundaries was selfish. I thought it meant shutting people out, turning my back on family, or refusing to help someone. But what I’ve learned is that boundaries aren’t about punishment—they’re about protection. They’re about keeping your peace intact, especially when you’ve worked so hard to heal.

There have been times in my recovery when I had to remove myself from people I loved, even family members, because their words or actions threatened to pull apart the progress I had made. You know that gut-tightening anxiety when someone’s behavior starts to chip away at your calm? That’s when you know it’s time to step back.

I remember one incident vividly. I had called someone out on behavior that was toxic, something that had been hurting me and those around me for months, and was just down-right mean. Instead of responding thoughtfully, they flew into a rage—a full-blown toddler meltdown, complete with yelling, twisting of words, and playing the victim. Honestly, if they had stomped their feet or thrown a toy, it wouldn’t have surprised me.

I refused to engage. I stepped back. I protected my peace. I wasn’t going to get sucked into the chaos, no matter how tempting it might have been to “teach them a lesson.”

The next morning, of course, they called “reminding me” of all the things I had done wrong in the past. Things I had already faced, made amends for, and healed from. I could almost hear the dramatic music playing in the background as they tried to make my past into their weapon. (New blog required on that topic!) Needless to say, a hard boundary was necessary to put into place. They are no longer safe to be around. Period.

Setting boundaries also means letting go of expectations for other people. It’s infuriating when you’re working hard on yourself and someone around you doesn’t seem to care about their own growth. You might want them to respond thoughtfully, but often, they won’t. That’s not your problem. They can keep being nasty or careless all on their own.

Boundaries require saying things like:

“I’m not engaging in this right now.”

“This conversation isn’t healthy for me.”

“I’m walking away to protect my peace.”

And each time you say it, you’re not being cold or unkind—you’re being intentional. You’re choosing yourself, your healing, your future. You’re honoring the work you’ve done, the growth you’ve earned, and the peace you deserve.

Boundaries are freedom. They allow you to love authentically, live intentionally, and protect your recovery. They remind you that your peace is worth protecting, that your growth is sacred, and that walking away from chaos isn’t weakness—it’s strength. And the people that truly love and care for you will absolutely respect your boundaries.

Every “no” you give to chaos is a “yes” to yourself! When you feel like you're being lured into someone else's unhealed drama.... you sip your coffee, maybe grab some imaginary popcorn, and watch the show. Because your peace is untouchable, your growth is intact, and their drama? That’s just entertainment.

Boundaries protect your peace.